September 11, 2014

Destiny non-professional review

My thoughts about Destiny?
3/10, don't buy it!
I'm dead serious. Buy Borderlands the Pre-Sequel. In fact, buy ANY OTHER GAME. Whatever the fuck else. Big Rigs over the road racing, buy Banjo Kazooie nuts and bolts, buy all useless mass effect dlc. Just do not buy this. Buy that one game that brutalmoose reviewed. At least it has BONUS ITEMS!

If you like pvp, then it's crap.
I haven't played any PvP in the retail version, but I played it in the beta and it was garbage.
Unbalanced, unfun, unimaginative. Please wait for Battlefront 3 instead of buying this. Or buy Battlefront 2 if you so must. Just not this one.
Garbage.

Now, if you are a single player or coop person, be wary. PvP is Destiny's strongest point.
It is only getting worse from here. 
There is no fun to be had in destiny in coop  or singleplayer after level 20.
It's just farming.
They made this game like an mmorpg, with boss loots and marks of whateverthefuckyouwannacallthem. You get like 2 or 3 of those marks for every instance you beat and you need like 2 or 3 hundred of them to buy some equipment. Just like WoW, right, right? Hahaha!
NO!! THIS IS NOT A FUCKING MMORPG!
You don't even have 4 player team size like in most other coop games, you have 3.
Why? probably because they only have 3 classes? I don't know.
Garbage.

If you think you're gonna have fun just killing enemies, be wary. There are four enemy factions and each have the same enemy types. A peon, a damage dealer, a tank and the special class (wizards,hydra, captain aaand ... ummm ... some fourth one for the alien race that had no purpose in the game to begin with so I don't even remember after just having completed it). That's 4 general classes in 4 fractions, so 16 "different" enemies. Really it's just four, but whatever, let's be generous.
You WILL get sick of the same enemies over and over. Believe me. I've been there. The AI scrapes at the bare minimum of what is acceptable in enemy AI. Extremely predictable hide behind cover and shoot mentality which will only serve to get you even more bored than you already were.
No variety, no fun, no enjoyment to be found in killing these.
Garbage!

If you think that all that stuff isn't so bad, because you don't care about post-game and pvp, you just wanna enjoy the story, BE. FUCKING. WARY!
THERE IS NO STORY.
Literally.
They didn't make one.
They didn't bother.
It's the only explanation that makes sense.
They made the instances to "work" in multiplayer, so you'd have "fun" repeating them over and over and then LOOSELY tied them together with "plot".
Well, tough luck. I didn't have any fun. It was boring as fuck. And the plot isn't anywhere to be even estimated.
Let me get this straight. If I sound like I'm exaggerating, Stop, drop an roll, because I am going to HEAT you up! (eh? eh?)
One sentence.
One sentence is most you'll get for explanation of anything. Upon entering an instance you get a SHORT intro from your ghost (the AI that follows you around) with about one sentence of information that is linked to the overall 'plot' by pure coincidence at best.
No quests. Yes. NO. QUESTS!
No interaction with any story relevant characters save for the few cutscenes. There's like less than 10 of them and they are, admittedly, decent. Just decent.
So, to reiterate: No text to tell you what's going on, no explanation for anything, no characters, no anything.
GARBAGE!

So, in conclusion, 3/10 for graphics and music. Sure, those things better be good, because they sure as fuck payed enough money for it, but these things still have to affect the score somewhat, so I gave one extra point for these two things.
The music IS REALLY GOOD, check it out on youtube or whatever.

I made a metacritic account just for this game because I'm so fucking disappointed.
I expected a generic, boring game, but what I got was much less. I am honestly baffled by how bad this game managed to be.
BAD BAD BAD BAAAAAAAAAD!
TOTAL GARBAGE.
I would take my money back if I cared enough, but the game didn't even make me hate it. I'm just bored. Bored to tears.

BUT! ON A LIGHTER NOTE!

I started reading Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and through serendipity also bought the game in the Playstation Store.
I haven't played it enough yet to give a real score. I bought it with a friend I had over for the destiny release, but we ended up playing Jojo and sportsfriends instead.
IT IS AMAZING! 9/10 'fake score'(tm).
New favorite fighting game, maybe.
Guilty Gear Xrd will probably take back that honor, though.

Lastly, let me redirect you to my destiny beta "review" for this last concluding statement:

THIS GAME IS GARBAGE, but the dancing still looks cool.

New page next week, I hope.

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Wow, that's a long-ass fucking list!

  • Abrasion
  • Agalmatophilia
  • Age difference
  • Age play
  • Algolagnia (pain)
  • Amputations
  • Anal play/sex
  • Animal slave
  • Animal/pet play
  • Asphyxiophilia
  • Attraction to disability
  • Autagonistophilia
  • Autassassinophilia
  • Bathroom use control
  • Beastiality
  • Beating
  • Biting
  • Blindfolds
  • Bondage
  • Boobs
  • Branding
  • Cages/Cells
  • Castration
  • Chastity
  • Competition
  • Concealing one's identity
  • Control/denial of pleasure
  • Crime
  • Domestic service
  • Domination
  • Double/multiple penetration
  • Eating
  • Electrostimulation/-cution
  • Enemas
  • Erotic dancing
  • Excessive Cum
  • Exercise
  • Exhibitionism
  • Fat
  • Fear
  • Feederism
  • Food play
  • Foot fetishism
  • Force/assertion
  • Formicophilia (insects)
  • Forniphilia (furniture TF)
  • Frotteurism
  • Gags, gagging
  • Gape
  • Gas masks
  • Gerontophilia
  • Gun play
  • Hair
  • Harem
  • Harvesting semen/milk
  • Heat/ Cold play
  • Helplessness
  • Heterophilia
  • Homeovestism
  • Human trade
  • Humiliation/Degradation
  • Hypnotism
  • Infantilism
  • Infantophilia
  • Initiation rites
  • Injections
  • Insertions
  • Interrogations
  • Kidnapping
  • Kleptophilia
  • Knife play
  • Lactophilia
  • Licking
  • Lingerie
  • Liquidophilia
  • Macro-/Microphilia
  • Mashalagnia (Armpits (yummy))
  • Masochism
  • Massage/beauty treatment
  • Masturbation
  • Mechanophilia
  • Medical scenes
  • Menophilia (don't vote for this. bleh)
  • Modeling
  • Morphophilia
  • Mucophila
  • Mummification
  • Mysophilia
  • Name change
  • Narratophilia
  • Nasophilia
  • Navel fetishism
  • Necrophilia
  • Neophilia
  • Nudism/exhbitionism
  • Objectophilia
  • Olfactophilia
  • Partialism
  • delicious cake
  • Pedovestism
  • Personality modification
  • Phone sex
  • Pictophilia
  • Piquerism
  • Pitiful behaviour
  • Plastic surgery
  • Plushophilia
  • Prison
  • Prostitution
  • Punishment
  • Pygophilia (AYYSSEESSS!)
  • Pyrophilia
  • Rape
  • Religion
  • Restriction
  • Ritualism
  • Role play
  • Roughhousing
  • Sadism
  • Salirophilia
  • Scarification
  • Scat
  • Servitude
  • Sex toys
  • Sexual fetishism (waitasecond ... "nonliving objects"?)
  • Shackles/manacles
  • Slave-Master relationship
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Sleepsacks? Rly? Weird.
  • Sluts
  • Smoking
  • Somnophilia
  • Sounding
  • Spandex/Latex/Leather etc.
  • Spanking
  • Speech restriction
  • Spit/ Saliva
  • Sthenolagnia (Oh, yes! MUSCLES!)
  • Stigmatophilia
  • Stretching skin
  • Submission
  • Suspension
  • Swallowing/ swapping bodily fluids
  • Swinging
  • Symphorophilia
  • Taking decisions
  • Teasing
  • Telephone Scatologia
  • Teratophilia
  • Tickling
  • Tongues
  • Torture
  • Toucherism
  • Transformation
  • Traps
  • Trees. Just ... trees.
  • Troilism
  • Uniforms
  • Urolagnia
  • Vaginal play/sex
  • Vampirism (ooooh, sparkly!)
  • Vomit (mmmmmmh, looking forward to his one :D)
  • Vorarephilia
  • Voyeurism
  • Weight gain
  • Weight loss
  • Weights (piercings)
  • Whips
  • Worship
  • Wrestling
  • Zoophilia
  • Zoosadism
  • Is that all? Pah! (other/unlisted)

Acepoll

More polls: Online polls

Here's a number for ya. Pretty low innit? Wanna help make it bigger?