Take You Home

Fetish comic:

I'm really uncomfortable writing this rape stuff. Let's see how it turns out.

Then there's some Jones, just because I have nothing else to post:

And then there's me talking about videogames for a bit. Jump break for spoilers of Ground Zeroes.

First inFAMOUS Second Son:

Decent game on it's own, way too short and way too easy to get a platinum trophy for if you care for this kind of thing, but decent enough. Worst game of the series, but that isn't saying much, since the series overall is still extremely enjoyable. I guess the worst part about Second Son is that the powers are less fun. You can't dick around as much as before, mostly because comet drop now does JACK SHIT and you don't have your electromagnetic car throw power, which was easily the most effective tool of destruction in inFAMOUS 2.

The shortness is also an issue, the game was only about 7 hours long for me with about 3/4 completion at the end. The platinum trophy is easy to get: You basically only have to play both good and evil, one time on expert and one playthrough with 100% completion, which, measuring from the 75% I finished with takes only about 4 additional hours. All other trophies are extremely easy to achieve over the course of simply playing the game, without even trying.

So, yeah, you can easily get Platinum in under 20 hours. In the other game you had to pull off some impossible maneuver like killing people in the air with a grenade while catching their grenade while you're flying and shoving a guinea pig up your ass only using your feet. ...Or something along those lines.

7/10, only because I'd rate inFAMOUS 1&2 as 8/10.

But that's not important right now.

MGS 5 Ground Zeroes happened.

I didn't buy it, of course. I just watched Angry Joe play it.

Personally, I am DISGUSTED!

What, about the price tag? No way, I couldn't care less about that shit.

It's a demo. Don't want it? Don't fucking buy it. You don't need it.

No, what I am disgusted about is what every reviewer seems to ignore right now.

It's that Kojima seems to be taking a giant dump on the Metal Gear Solid series ... again.

Okay, it's not really surprising. It happens a lot these days.

MGS 3, as good as a game it might have been, was already not an MGS game anymore. Everyone seemed to forget at the time because, admittedly, the game was awesome as fuck, but NAKED Snake instead of SOLID Snake in Metal Gear SOLID didn't really make much sense. Learning more about Big Boss seemed like a cool idea at the time - and it was! The coolest.

But Let's face it, Big Boss is basically Darth Vader and learning about his backstory was

- YES I AM GOING TO SAY IT -

AS HORRIBLE AS THE STAR WARS PREQUELS!

Kojima Lucas'd MGS. And if you needed any more evidence for that then, by all means, play MGS5.

It shouldn't have been a Metal Gear Solid game. The game brought forth a landslide of games that ventured further and further away from the originals. MGS 4 had nothing to do with its roots ... save for the parts that were, you know ... actually taking place on Shadow Moses.

Okay, let me get this straight: what MGS 4 did was acknowledge MGS1, no more.

MGS 4 shat on the Metal Gear Solid series with all of its shattiness, which I'm sure I don't have to make a list of for this short 'review' on a 34 art blog.

Of course, just like MGS 3 it was still a great game on its own, but it made one thing very clear:

Hideo Kojima is a fucking ASSHOLE and DOUCHEBAG. The worst.

Literally worse than hitler.

So, yeah, I expected MGS 5 to be more of the same, but what I got to see that night when I watched Joe flail his way through that 30$ level was more than I could handle.

I felt insulted. I was disgusted. I felt sick to my stomach.

The gameplaay was okay. I mean, it had regenerating health and was 'more open to the casual gamer derpityderp', but overall looked decent.

But the writing. Oh, the writing. Paz ... was killed in a shock death. With a bomb. In her Vagina.

This was so undignified, so cheap, so horribly, horribly disregarding of anything that has ever happened in the series that it outright insulted me as a fan.

A shock death? Seriously?

What the fuck is this, Marvel Comics?

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love a good character death, the more important the character the better. But no major character in MGS was ever treated this poorly. Even the enemies always got their redeeming moments.

I'm not saying that every death should have Snake kneeling over the dying body and listening to their story or something like that either. This is a game about the ugliness of war, of course it's going to have ugly character deaths as well. Someone might explode or get his head chopped off or some shit like that. They're not always going to stay, yknow, 'intact' for Big Boss to mourn over them.

But the cheapness of this vagina bomb death just to establish the red skull wannabe villain as the most ruthless and evil guy EVAAHR!!1! is plain as fuck cheap and lazy writing.

And that is what I'm so angry about. It's cheap.

Paz dies like a hooker in GTA.

And I didn't even fucking play Peace Walker, because portable!

I have no knowledge of this character, the only reason I even know of her is because of Gunnerkriggs Paz.

The new Metal Gear Solids have as much to do with the originals as the Nintendo versions had to do with the original Metal Gears.
Whether or not that is Kojimas actual intention is besides the point.

Kojima does to his own game now what Nintendo did to his game back then:
Treating it disrespectfully.

Song of today I found by searching for 'dragon sex metal' on youtube.

DRAGON BLOOD SEX MACHINE - Take You Home

I'm sad there's no actual Dragon Sex Metal.

Someone make a song called Dragon Sex Metal!

That is all.