Guess who's back!
I contacted Google with my new e-mail address at some gayass site I signed up for (anonymousspeech.com) which didn't let me read my mail, well, they did, but it looked like this:
But as I was gonna contact them again I tried to log in to get to the support page and I noticed they were super cool about it anyway and revived my account! So I deleted my google+ profile which apparently caused all this mess (I didn't want to give google my real name). So ... YAY GOOGLE! HURRAH!